Hidden Machines
by FortuneDP
Summary: When first learning how to use a Hidden Machine, one generally thinks over which of their Pokémon to use. Of course, someone would always choose to not follow common sense and choose a completely absurd Pokémon to learn the move and thus utterly fail in their first usage of the move. Hello, Dawn.
1. Chopping Vegetables

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Chopping Vegetables

"Dawn, we don't have any more soy sauce. I'm off to buy some, but could you chop up those vegetables on the cutting board for me?"

Johanna slipped her feet into her shoes as her daughter replied with an affirmative, "Yes!" Johanna grimaced, knowing that she wanted to get the vegetables cut, but did not want Dawn to have the task. Then again, Lucas was visiting as well. He would be able to keep her house safe.

"Don't cut yourself," warned Johanna as she stepped out.

"I won't."

Dawn slowly flopped into the kitchen and paled at the sight of a veritable avalanche of vegetables. Yes, the huge mountain loomed overhead, the stack of two carrots and an onion.

"I'll never finish in time!" she bawled.

Lucas, who followed her, rolled his eyes and reached for the knife.

But Dawn then thought of an idea. And when Dawn thought of an idea, it usually meant nothing good.

"Wait, you won't need to do anything! It's my job, so, Paras, I choose you!"

The small, mushroom crab thing popped out of its Poké Ball in a flash of silver light onto the counter.

"Use Cut on those vegetables!"

Paras blinked several times.

"Uh, Dawn, I don't think that's a good idea," Lucas said anxiously. "Just let me cut the vegetables."

"No, you don't need to," Dawn said, flapping a hand at him. "It's fine. Come on, Paras, it's just like chopping down a tree! Just chop like you normally would until the vegetables are diced, please? I'll do something nice for you later!"

Paras quivered, but nodded. Dawn leaped for joy and left Paras to itself, dragging Lucas with her to play some absurd game. Paras turned to the onion (which was almost bigger than it was) and apologized to the vegetable. Considering the fact that the Pokémon was already basically a vegetable, it was understandable. The Mushroom Pokémon jumped to the task.

Johanna returned ten minutes later.

"Did you cut the vegetables?"

"Yeah."

Lucas gulped as Johanna looked to him for confirmation. He shook his head imperceptibly, but Johanna understood.

Johanna grimaced and entered the kitchen.

Even Lucas's warning did not prepare her for the sight in front of her.

"MY COUNTER!"

Paras sat on the table, tired from its exertion, unnoticed as Johanna mourned the sight of her destroyed kitchen.

"DAWN!"

Well, thought Paras wryly (Lucas privately thinking the same thing), at least Dawn was the one getting blamed.

* * *

Extra:

"Explain this," seethed Johanna gesturing to the remains of the cutting board, sink, stove, oven, and vegetables. Lucas attempted to shrink into the shadows of the cabinets.

"Well… I guess Paras actually used the strength he normally uses to chop down the trees to chop the vegetables… And it was too much…"

"I tried to tell her that," Lucas interjected quietly.

"Yes, well, it's understandable that you couldn't control her, Lucas. I don't blame you in the slightest."

The professor's assistant felt somewhat relieved.

"DAWN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?"

"At least the vegetables got chopped?"

Lucas smacked his head on the cabinet.


	2. Lessons in Flight

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

Lessons in Flight

_"LUCAS, HELP ME!"_

"Huh?"

Lucas turned around, startled. What sounded like Dawn's voice had just screamed something at him. He continued to glance around, looking for any abnormalities in the generally peaceful town of Sandgem.

"HELP ME DOWN FROM HERE, PLEASE!"

"Down from what?"

Lucas glanced at the trees and rooftops and saw no Dawn, so he shrugged.

"I must be hallucinating," yawned the assistant. He rubbed his eyes. "I need more sleep."

Blearily, he glanced up into the sky, and then furiously rubbed his eyes again.

"Dawn?"

"HELP ME, PLEASE!"

"Wait, what?" spluttered Lucas as he just began to comprehend the sight.

Dawn was clinging to the two tiny legs of a rather frantic, tired Hoothoot that was fluttering its tiny wings with all its might to keep the girl and itself in the air. The Hoothoot suddenly stopped flapping as it closed its eyes, exhausted. Clearly, it had fainted.

Lucas gasped as Dawn and her Hoothoot began to tumble to the ground. Dawn screamed as she gathered Hoothoot to her, tightly hugging it to keep it somewhat safer than she was. Quite alarmed, Lucas quickly sent out his Drifloon. The three balloon-like Pokémon (yes, three) floated to Dawn and grabbed her. Six, spindly arms caught the girl and slowly lowered her to the ground.

Sighing with relief, Dawn thanked the Drifloon and doted on their cuteness. Lucas ran over, still slightly stunned.

"What were you doing?" gasped Lucas. Dawn looked slightly sheepish.

"Well… I kind of realized that I never taught any of my Pokémon the move Fly. So I kind of found the first Pokémon that could learn it and taught it the move with the HM…"

Lucas's mouth dropped slightly. "You taught a Hoothoot Fly? And you actually tried to _fly on it?"_

"Yes, well, Hoothoot did get into the air, but when I grabbed its legs to try and fly here to Sandgem, it got a bit tired."

"Where did you come from?"

At this, Dawn blushed slightly. "Uh… Sunyshore City?"

Lucas moaned and looked over the unconscious Hoothoot in Dawn's arms.

"No wonder it looks like that," groaned Lucas. "You made it fly across the region!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"No, I wasn't talking to you," Dawn said, waving a hand at Lucas. "I was talking to your Drifloon. What do you guys want?"

Lucas spared them a quick glance. The three seemingly decided to work together and latched onto Dawn, attempting to pull her away. The attempt lasted for about five seconds, before they all fell to the ground, utterly and completely exhausted. Five seconds later, they were back up and tried again.

"Stop that!" scolded Lucas. His Drifloon deflated slightly as they let go of Dawn and floated over to Lucas.

"What were they doing?" asked Dawn.

"Trying to drag you to the underworld," shrugged Lucas, ignoring Dawn's suddenly queasy expression and pasty complexion. "They're really tired from catching you, so they can't really pull you away. It's sort of pitiful." Lucas ignored the depressed looks from his Drifloon as he suddenly took on a more serious expression. "Now, let's get to the Pokémon Center to heal your Hoothoot, and then we can discuss what Pokémon you should probably teach Fly to, okay?"

Dawn smiled. "Alright."

Thirty minutes later, Dawn and Lucas were sitting in the Pokémon Center's lobby, waiting for Hoothoot to come out of the emergency room.

"You know," laughed Lucas, "Nurse Joy almost fainted herself when she saw the shape your Hoothoot was in."

"I didn't realize that it needed to go to the emergency room," said a rather bemused Dawn. "I thought it was alright."

Lucas sighed.

"Dawn, Pokémon usually faint when you battle with them, not when you fly with them. Speaking of which, let's talk about what Pokémon you really should be using if you want to fly."

"Alright," sighed Dawn, pulling out a notebook.

"Now, you usually want a pretty big Pokémon for flying; I use Staraptor. It's a pretty good choice, but you could also use Staravia, maybe Skarmory, Tropius, even Drifblim. Actually, not Drifblim, because it can Fly, but it can't control its direction."

Lucas continued to muse over the use of Fly as Dawn hurriedly scribbled down notes. By the end of their talk, Hoothoot was still in the emergency room, so they decided to catch up with each other. By the end of _that _talk, it had been over two hours since they first arrived at the Pokémon Center.

"Wow," said Dawn anxiously. "I didn't think Hoothoot was in such bad condition."

"Talk about it," said Lucas, worried as well. "It's been such a long time. Maybe we should go check."

The two slowly crept up to the window and peeked into the emergency room to find Nurse Joy asleep.

"WHAT?"

Dawn burst into the room and tried to wake Nurse Joy, but the woman simply snored and sleep-shoved Dawn away.

"Nurse Joy, come on! Wake up!"

"Wait!" exclaimed Lucas. "I know just the thing!"

After a few seconds, Chansey was shoved into the room by Lucas.

"Quick, wake up Nurse Joy with DoubleSlap."

A devilish look suddenly overtook Chansey as it cackled venomously; rubbing its rubbery arm-hands together in what appeared to be a devious manner, Chansey advanced upon the unwary, sleeping nurse. Dawn and Lucas backed away slowly.

"Okay, yeah, we'll just leave you to it!" said Dawn, rushing out the door with Lucas.

A few moments later, a loud "OW!" was heard from the room.

Rushing back, the two found Chansey assisting Nurse Joy up from the floor.

"Are you okay, Nurse Joy?" asked Dawn.

"Yeah, fine. It's just that my cheeks are a little swollen for some reason," said Nurse Joy, straightening up. Dawn and Lucas winced.

"That's a lot more swollen than a little," muttered Lucas.

"What happened? Why were you asleep?" interrogated Dawn.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Your Hoothoot used Hypnosis on me."

"Oh… Where is Hoothoot anyways?"

"Well, I believe that when it made me fall asleep, I fell on it, so it should be here somewhere…"

"You _fell_ on my Hoothoot?"

"Sorry. Ah, here we are!"

Nurse Joy pulled a disheveled looking Hoothoot out from underneath the bed. Its eyes swirled around and it quickly normalized.

"Thanks," sighed Dawn, taking Hoothoot with relief. "I'll make sure this never happens again."

"Good," said Nurse Joy, a severe touch thrown into the words. "That was the worst treatment to a Pokémon I've ever seen –"

"Yeah, yeah, heard the spiel already, see ya!"

Dawn sprinted out of the Pokémon Center with Lucas.

Nurse Joy shook her head. "Young ones these days."

"Now Dawn, find yourself a bigger Pokémon and try out Fly again, okay? I'll be at Professor Rowan's lab if you need anything."

Dawn nodded happily.

"Thanks for helping me today, Lucas."

He smiled.

"No problem."

Dawn left on her bike to catch another Pokémon. Lucas watched her go and then turned back to the lab, a grimace on his face.

"Let's face it, she's going to mess up again."

About ten minutes later, a familiar scream radiated throughout Sinnoh.

"LUCAS, HELP ME!"

* * *

Extra:

"I told you to use a Staraptor or Staravia, not a Starly," sighed Lucas as he sat down with Dawn in the Pokémon Center. A disheveled Dawn glared at him.

"Well, make yourself clearer!"


	3. Surf on the Shore

Hidden Machines

Author's Note: When I wrote _Lessons in Flight_, I originally planned just that one HM. But now that I've thought about it, I decided to make a series consisting of a story of each HM in the Sinnoh Region! Yay, fun, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Surf on the Shore

Lucas blinked blankly at the cause of the immediate evacuation of Sandgem Town. As the ocean waters sloshed sloppily over the sandy beach south of Sandgem, a Pokémon and its Trainer looked slightly embarrassed as they floated in the depths of the ocean.

"Really?" asked Lucas. _"Really?"_

"Like _I_ was supposed to know that just because a Palkia appeared in the ocean the entire town would evacuate," retorted Dawn from her vantage point on her Palkia.

"Could you not have used a _normal_ Pokémon to learn Surf?"

"Hey, are you saying that Palkia isn't normal?"

"Well, yeah, it's a Legendary Pokémon."

"That may be, but that doesn't mean that it's not normal! It's just – normal… sort of… not really."

Lucas sighed.

"Could you call back your Palkia now?"

The huge Legendary Pokémon roared and beached on the sandy shore of Sandgem. It gently lowered Dawn, who was sitting on its left shoulder, down to the beach. She thanked it and called it back into an Ultra Ball.

"There, happy now?" Dawn asked, sarcasm lacing the words. "Palkia has been returned to its Ultra Ball. The people of Sandgem can return now that there isn't a _nonexistent_ chance of Palkia destroying the place."

"If there isn't a nonexistent chance, is there a chance? Hmm, so my theory of Pokémon being capable of using moves in their Poké Balls was correct…"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Sure," said Lucas, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you say. Just – next time, use a smaller Pokémon, alright? Like, Lumineon, or Gastrodon, or Floatzel. Okay?"

"Fine," said Dawn, sticking her tongue out at Lucas.

* * *

Extra:

"Palkia, use Spacial Rend!" Dawn said ominously, thrusting out a hand towards the pitiful houses.

A scream erupted over Sandgem as the command echoed ominously throughout the town. The citizens all clutched their families as the dreaded Palkia once again surfed to the beach with its Trainer. With their inevitable doom clearly approaching, everyone quickly shut their eyes.

"Hah, just kidding!" laughed Dawn.

"DAWN!" roared Lucas.


	4. Normal Super Strength

Hidden Machines

Author's Note: Thanks to **Ranger Belle **for giving me this idea!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Normal Super Strength

"Is that… a Machoke?"

"Yeah, impressive, isn't it?" Dawn said happily as her Pokémon strained his muscles and forced a boulder straight into the waters near Sandgem Town. "He's a very strong Pokémon, so I figured, why not teach him how to use Strength?"

Lucas stared impassively at the muscular Pokémon and suddenly began laughing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" Dawn asked, bemused as her friend began to collapse from laughter.

"You," choked Lucas gleefully, "actually used a normal Pokémon to learn Strength! And here I thought that you would be doing something idiotic like teaching a Ditto the move or something!"

Dawn blinked blankly, then pondered the words for a while, and then turned away, clearly confused, to help her Machoke push along boulders, leaving her friend to hyperventilate in the sand.

"This can't be happening," sighed Lucas as he controlled his sudden laughing fit. "It must be a dream."

"You're not dreaming," Dawn informed him. "Machoke, return. And what did you say you thought I would do?"

"This is a dream. And I thought you would do something stupid like teaching a Ditto how to use Strength, which is impossible, by the way, so don't even think about it. I think I'd like to wake up now."

"You're _not _dreaming!" Dawn yelled. "Get that through your thick head!"

"I think you're just a figment of my imagination."

Dawn, who did not like being called a figment of someone's imagination, tapped her foot impatiently.

"Machoke, chuck him in the water with Strength!"

"Wait, what?" Lucas spluttered as he was lifted into the air and thrust into the cold waves. "Hey!" he choked as he resurfaced. "What was that for?"

"To convince you that you're not dreaming," Dawn said impatiently. "You are _awake!_"

Lucas waded back to the beach, drenched to the skin, and grabbed Machoke's arm. Dawn stared at the sight uncomprehendingly.

Lucas smashed Machoke's arm onto his cranium.

"Lucas!" yelped Dawn.

"Hmm… I guess I am awake… Did you have Palkia transport me to another dimension?"

"No!"

"Oh… if this is another dimension, I suppose that _you_ wouldn't have transported me, but the Dawn from _my_ dimension would have. Interesting… Could you have Palkia transport me back to my dimension please?"

Thus, the two friends spent a few hours, or perhaps it was days (you never knew when Dawn was the Trainer of Dialga and Palkia; she could have destroyed the entire time-space continuum without anyone knowing) bickering back and forth on matters concerning the universe, life, and everything.

* * *

Extra:

"Hey Lucas, check this out!"

Lucas warily glanced over at Dawn, checking for any explosive traps or chemicals (as she had been messing around with them for the past few days for some reason). He carefully made his way over to her.

"What?"

"Ditto, use Strength!" Dawn called out to her Pokémon. The purple, smiling blob of goo stretched out two "arms" and used all its might to shove a huge boulder into the ocean. "Awesome, right? When you said you thought I would teach a Ditto how to use Strength, I was struck by inspiration!"

Lucas glared at the offending purple blob.

"Hacks," he grumbled.


	5. Replacing the Fog

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

Replacing the Fog

"Come on, Lucas," whined Dawn, tugging relentlessly on the young man's white lab coat. "Just a quick battle! I want to try something out with my Giratina!"

"No, Dawn," said Lucas patiently, removing her hand from his sleeve. "I have to finish this. Plus, if you use your Giratina against me, there's no way I'd even have a chance."

"Please?"

"No. Maybe after I finish logging this data for Professor Rowan."

_"Please?"_

"No."

_"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"_

"Alright, fine!" exploded Lucas, throwing his notebook onto the lab counter. He quickly removed his lab coat and pulled a cheering Dawn out the door of the lab in Sandgem. "What do you want?"

"A battle!"

"Alright, alright, I get it. Torterra, come on, let's just finish this already," sighed Lucas, carelessly tossing his Poké Ball onto the ground.

"Giratina, let's go!"

Ignoring the vague screams of horror reverberating from around the town, Dawn immediately began the battle.

"Use Defog!"

Giratina screamed deafeningly (some of the residents of Sandgem Town collapsed in fright) and waved its tentacles threateningly, sending several streams forth to lower Torterra's evasiveness. Lucas ignored the stat change and ordered Torterra to use Razor Leaf. He also did not notice the lab disappearing behind him. Dawn silently congratulated herself on her successful theory.

As Giratina used Ominous Wind, followed by another Defog, Torterra's attack was blown off course – and another building disappeared. A few Defogs later, everything behind Lucas was gone, replaced with barren land.

"Okay, we can stop now!" Dawn said cheerfully.

"What?"

"We can stop now!"

"But neither of us have won the battle yet…"

"Lucas, I'd like to present you my epic theory of awesomeness! Turn around, and observe everything!"

Lucas confusedly did as he was told and then went into a state of paralysis.

"Well, what do you observe?"

"That there's nothing to observe," gasped Lucas, clutching his chest and wheezing from shock. "Dawn, what did you _do_?"

"Well, I tested my theory out!" she said proudly.

"What theory?" asked Lucas menacingly, turning back around and advancing on the girl. Sensing imminent danger, Dawn quickly blurted out her idea.

"Well, the HM Defog is described as being able to get rid of fog outside of battle, right? Well, it says that inside of battle, it removes obstacles… like houses… and people… and labs… and I kind of wanted to try it?" Dawn said weakly as Lucas looked thunderstruck.

"And it actually _worked_? What idiot made that HM anyways?"

"Well, it's interesting, although now, half of Sandgem Town is missing…"

Lucas immediately turned on her again.

"Where is everything and everyone?" said Lucas slowly and clearly. "If you do not replace everything exactly where it was, you will _not_ like the consequences." Leaving Dawn to ponder his darkly significant words, Lucas turned to go back to his house – only to discover his house was Defog-ed away as well.

Dawn finally realized what Lucas meant. "You're not going to take away my cookies, are you?" she wailed. "I'll bring everyone back, I promise!"

"You'd better," muttered Lucas. Dawn quickly ran to the Pokémon Center, only to realize that the Pokémon Center had disappeared as well. Wailing even more loudly, she sprinted to Jubilife City and back in a record time of 42.68 seconds. Panting loudly, she wheezed, "Palkia… go."

The pink Pokémon burst out of the Poké Ball and roared deafeningly.

"Please, use your control of space to manipulate everything I blew away with Defog back to where it was," Dawn said tearfully. "If you don't, Lucas is going to take away my cookies!"

Palkia stared at her as though she was stupid (it really was thinking that) and used Spacial Rend in midair, leaving a rift of pink energy hovering in the sky.

"What's that going to do?" asked Lucas curiously, calming slowly.

He got his answer when houses, people, Pokémon, and the lab zipped out of the portal and back to where they were before. Once everything was back, the energy rift closed.

"Thanks, Palkia!" Dawn said cheerfully, recalling the Legendary Pokémon. "See, everything's fine now!"

Dawn always had a solution. Lucas shook his head woefully.

* * *

Extra:

"Wait…" said Lucas. "Where'd your hat go? And why is your hair standing straight up? And… isn't your Pokétch usually on your left hand? Why is it on your right?"

Dawn looked around confusedly.

"Oh no," Lucas said, paling and turning a rather queasy color as he realized his own beret was gone as well. He gulped and looked up. Sure enough, his beret was falling away… and falling… and falling… and falling… into the sky. He took a deep breath.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU TURNED THE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN _AND_ REVERSED IT! YOU'D BETTER FIX THIS _RIGHT NOW!_"

"..."

"AND WHY ARE WE NOT FALLING WITH OUR HATS?"

"You really shouldn't have said that."

"Huh?"

"..."

"AH!"

And thus, they fell.


	6. The Pointless Waterfall of Distortion

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

The Pointless Waterfall of Distortion

"Dawn, no, don't go in there again!"

Lucas was panicking slightly (majorly) as his girl friend (note: girl friend, not girlfriend; never!) giddily leaped into the twisted dimensional warp floating in the middle of Turnback Cave.

"Dawn!"

The girl disappeared through the portal. Lucas moaned and then ran through it as well. He closed his eyes as the dimensional rift engulfed him in a nasty sensation of being pulled apart and reassembled. He opened his eyes and found himself in the Distortion World for the first time in his life. He quickly glanced around but failed to find Dawn.

"Dawn?"

"Yeah?"

The sound came from above him. Lucas looked up and paled at the sight of Dawn standing on a piece of earth floating upside down.

"What are we doing here?" Lucas asked carefully, attempting to control his mounting panic. Dawn giggled.

"It'll be fun! Come on, follow me!"

"How?"

"That's all part of the fun! I've got this place memorized like the back of my hand, and you should too!"

Lucas whimpered slightly and tentatively jumped forward onto another piece of floating earth. The erratic force of gravity in the strange world allowed him to jump a huge distance. He found himself staring at a veritable wall of dirt.

"Now what?" called Lucas.

"Figure it out yourself!"

Lucas gulped. He analyzed his surroundings and quickly realized that he needed to step onto the wall. He shut his eyes tightly and whispered, "Dawn, you're dead after we get out," before hopping firmly onto the wall and planting his two feet down at the same time. Even as he knew he would stay on the wall he expected to fall down and crumple on the ground. Instead, the world turned abruptly and he was standing up instead of sideways.

He was already gasping for air (being a professor's assistant generally did not require one to do such brain-bending tasks) as he navigated his path to Dawn. Then, frightening him so badly that all he wanted to do was curl into a ball, a huge mass of plant-like things sprouted out of the ground as though spring had suddenly decided to happen.

He took a furtive step forward and jumped backwards in fright as the plants shrank and others grew.

"Lucas, hurry up!"

By now, the fear was diminishing and an irate emotion was beginning to replace it. If looks could kill, even Arceus would have been severely pained by the glare that Lucas was sending to Dawn.

A good million years later (everything's distorted in the Distortion World…), Lucas had plopped down next to Dawn, who was waiting for him patiently.

"Your first time in the Distortion World can be a bit traumatizing," Dawn said sympathetically, "but at least you didn't have to save the world from imminent doom and get scared into a few seizures by Giratina flying overhead and screaming at you. Or battle Cyrus in the ultimate battle determining the doom of the universe. Speaking of Cyrus, I'm pretty sure he's still in here somewhere…"

"Why did we come here?" seethed Lucas. Dawn smiled happily and pointed at the reason: a huge wall of water in front of them.

"An… upside-down waterfall? Or… a waterfall that flows up?"

"Oh, it only looks like it's flowing up to us," Dawn said. "I've gotten very good at the theories and things of this place. It's flowing down if you're at the bottom of the waterfall."

"What is the point?" hissed Lucas.

"Manaphy, Phione, let's go!" Dawn called, sending out the Seafaring and Sea Drifter Pokémon. "Lucas, you can ride on Phione. Just grab its antenna thing, okay?"

Lucas hesitated.

"Won't it hurt them?" he asked even as Dawn firmly latched on to Manaphy's antennae.

"It's fine," Dawn said carelessly (although Lucas noticed that Manaphy was crying already).

"I think I'll pass," Lucas said. Phione, who had been leaking tears, suddenly smiled up at the assistant. Dawn shrugged.

"Alright, Manaphy, use Waterfall!"

"Huh?"

Manaphy sighed, wiped away its tears, and dove into the water, pulling along an enthusiastic Dawn.

"WHEE!"

The pair slowly moved down the waterfall and eventually reached the end of it, where they appeared upside down to Lucas.

"You don't actually have to use Waterfall," Dawn said casually as she and Manaphy rode back up the water. "It's just fun."

"Why don't you have to use Waterfall?" Lucas asked, curiosity peaked even as his temper flared.

"Because the gravity here is messed up, so you can swim against the water," Dawn said as she landed next to Lucas again. "Manaphy, thanks! Return!"

The girl turned to Phione, who whimpered and hid under Lucas's beret. The boy in question wriggled uncomfortably.

"Looks like Phione likes you!" Dawn said brightly. "Here, take its Poké Ball. You can have it! I've bred at least thirty-six more."

"I have no words to say," Lucas muttered as he accepted the Poké Ball. "Phione, come on. Return. Now, Dawn… YOU DRAGGED ME HERE TO USE WATERFALL ON A WATERFALL THAT DOESN'T EVEN NEED YOU TO USE WATERFALL? WHAT KIND OF STUPIDITY IS THIS?"

Dawn shrugged.

"It's fun. Sort of."

"Pointless girl," seethed Lucas.

* * *

Extra:

"I see that you have returned… Dawn, if I remember correctly?"

The duo jumped at the cold voice and turned slowly. Lucas gulped. Dawn, on the other hand, cheerily waved at the creepy old man standing before them.

"Hey Cyrus! How are you?"

"I am fine, thank you. And you?"

"Great! What do you think of this world so far?"

"It's lovely. I am content to stay here for the rest of my life."

"How old are you now?"

"It is my deathday today. I am seventeen-trillion-sixteen-billion-five-million-two-thousand-nine-hundred-twenty-one years dead as of today." Again, the alternate dimension of Giratina was known as the Distortion World for a reason, or perhaps, _many_ reasons.

"Oh, congratulations! By the way, how do you survive without food in this place?"

"I do not. It is my _death_day for a reason."

"Oh, so you've been dead for that long?"

"Yes. Why are you not dead? You have been in here for at least a million years."

"I'm awesome, that's why. Lucas here… well, he's with me, so he's at least protected by my veil of awesomeness."

"Ah. Very well. Good day."

And with that, the creepy old man with blue hair walked away.

"He's much nicer that he was before," Dawn observed. "I should come visit him more often. He needs some company."

Lucas blinked.

"Come on, let's go," sighed Dawn. She gazed longingly at the Waterfall one last time. "Or maybe… we can play some more –"

"No. Just – no."


	7. Lava Smash

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Lava Smash

"Go, Slugma, use Rock Smash!" Dawn commanded, pointing at a crack-filled boulder blocking their way. Slugma growled ferociously and leaped to the top of the boulder, intending to fall with tremendous force and shatter the offending rock.

The plan failed.

Slugma plopped onto the boulder with a _squelch_ and sat there contentedly. Dawn did not seem put off.

"Yeah, go Slugma!"

The acrid smell of burning earth soon filled the air as the rock slowly melted into liquid lava under the intense heat of Slugma's body. The goo oozed down to the ground, immediately sizzling and continuing its downward path dictated by the ultimate force of gravity. Dawn patiently waited for the rock to disappear so she could continue.

A few days later, Slugma finished using Rock Smash (it was a miracle that no one else had come by during that time) and Dawn happily leaped over the wide hole that replaced the ground the boulder sat upon.

"Way to go! Return, Slugma!"

The orange Pokémon happily returned to its Poké Ball. Dawn continued happily on her way. The oozing lava spread and melted everything in its path.

Dawn bumped into a few more boulders on her way to different cities.

Lucas walked along the same route a few hours later.

"So, I was just telling the Professor – AH!"

Lucas had been talking to his Beautifly. Then, he fell into a hole.

"What is the meaning of this?" Lucas yelled as he realized he was stuck in a very deep pit. "Whatever! Torterra, go – oh…"

His Beautifly looked at him helplessly.

"I only brought you along, didn't I," Lucas said faintly. Beautifly nodded in confirmation. "Well… I swear, when I find who did this, I will throw them into a volcano!" Lucas said cheerfully, taking out his tools to try to climb out.

* * *

Extra:

Dawn felt a menacing presence. It chilled the air… and that was quite impressive since Slugma was still creating magma wherever it crawled.

"Dawn, are you responsible for these holes?"

The girl in question turned around to see Lucas gesturing calmly at the various pits that dotted the earth's surface.

"Well – er, I mean, no! Of course not? Why would you think that?"

"Good. Because if it was you, I would have melted you in magma for trapping me in at least twenty of them."

"That's kind of ironic, seeing as lava made the holes in the first place," muttered Dawn, turning away.

"What did you say?"

"You should watch where you're going."

"Hey!"


	8. Gem Climbing

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

Gem Climbing

Lucas collapsed, exhausted from a day's work, on his couch. His grandfather and father were on some sort of business trip, and his sister was staying at one of her friend's houses. He was home alone, with no one to pester him after the grueling day.

He angrily ticked off the tasks he had been forced to do that day in his mind as he set the kettle to boil some water.

"Let's see," he said venomously, numbering off on his fingers, "one, I had to catalogue those fifty Pokémon in an hour. Then, I had to go to Snowpoint City to fetch a parcel for Professor Rowan. After that…"

He rambled on endlessly, pacing up and down the stairs to try and cool off some steam, before paling and realizing that steam wasn't issuing from him – it was coming from the kettle.

"No!" he yelled, sprinting to the kitchen, seizing an oven mitt, and snatching the kettle off the stove. "My kettle!"

He shook violently as he set the kettle down, whether from fear for his kettle or from sadness over the lack of hot water for tea. That was when he realized that he was shaking mainly because the earth was shaking.

"Earthquake!" he yelped, running out of the house. Small tremors still reached him, and he was very confused over the localized earthquake. And then, a huge crash ended the shakes, and Lucas cautiously made his way back into his house.

A tree sat in the middle of the living room as though it had always been there, besides the fact that a large hole was evident in the ground. And the tree led to a shell, which led to a Torterra. And then a girl popped out of the tree.

"Thanks, Torterra," she said brightly, recalling the Pokémon, "although I think you missed the spot we were aiming to surface from."

"Dawn."

The girl in question turned and flashed a cheery smile at the steaming boy.

"Hey, Lucas!"

All thoughts of kettles evaporated from his head as he stared at the mess his house was in. A hole decimated most of the living room. The top branches of the tree punctured the ceiling and probably made it through to a – _his_, he realized – bedroom floor.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING?" he screamed, exploding.

"Well, I didn't feel like digging all the way up to the surface again after playing around in the Underground, so I just had Torterra use Rock Climb to get back up! After all, the spheres and stuff down there are basically rocks."

"Why did they let you bring Torterra down there in the first place? And couldn't you have picked a better spot to resurface? Maybe like the place _you went down from?_"

"Being a champion has its perks. And I _thought_ we were underneath the place where we surfaced from, but it turns out we weren't. I dug to the Underground from your neighbor's house."

Presently, a scream came from the house in question. "WHO DUG A HOLE IN MY FLOOR?"

"Well, see you later, Lucas!" Dawn said cheerfully, walking out on a stunned Lucas.

About a day later, Lucas was still staring blankly at his house. His father and grandfather walked in the door.

"Lucas, what did you do this time?" asked his grandfather wearily. "Did you invite a bunch of friends over?"

"No," Lucas said shortly, moving for the first time in hours to face his relatives. "This was not me."

"Dawn, hm?" sighed his father. "These damages are adding up, you know…"

"Tell that to her!" exploded Lucas, storming out the door.

* * *

Extra:

"Oh, awesome!" Dawn exclaimed, looking at the wall in front of her. "There's a lot of treasure here!"

She took one step forward in the treacherous Underground of Sinnoh and was sent hurtling to the right, before she was halted suddenly and hurtled forward, before she was halted suddenly and hurtled to the left, before she was halted suddenly and hurtled forward again, before she was hurtled again and again and again and so on and so on, occasionally bumping into the stray fire or boulder.

Lucas chuckled from his hiding place and sipped his steaming tea.

"Oh, revenge is sweet," he whispered as Dawn screamed louder and louder on the unending roller coaster of traps.


	9. Epilogue-ish

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Author's Note: Oh noes! This is the last chapter… Well, read on and laugh till you cry, whether because it's so funny or you'll miss these updates! But for those of you who are crying right now because the story is "ending", do not despair! There is hope at the end of the chapter!

Epilogue-ish

"Alright, I'm off," Dawn said, calling out her Hoothoot and Starly. "I can't postpone leaving any longer."

The small crowd gathered around her, consisting of Lucas, Professor Rowan, and her mother waved good-bye as Dawn took off, holding onto the legs of her two Pokémon, towards Kanto for the annual Champion Conference, her first one since her inauguration as Sinnoh Champion.

Professor Rowan smiled, a rare occurrence, and then bade farewell to Lucas and Johanna as he rambled back to his lab. Lucas and Johanna exchanged a look and took action the moment Dawn was out of sight.

"Mission Destroy Dawn's Hidden Machines, D.D.H.M., is officially underway," Johanna whispered, entering her own house with Lucas. "Let's go! Take action!"

Johanna stormed up to Dawn's room and quickly located the eight Hidden Machines of Sinnoh while Lucas fished around in his Explorer Kit for a hammer.

Johanna tumbled back down the stairs and gave the HMs to Lucas.

"Stand back," warned Lucas, snapping on protective goggles and inching away from the Hidden Machines. "This is dangerous."

"HM01, Cut, destruction underway," whispered Johanna. Lucas raised the hammer and brought it down on the HM, shattering it. "Next, HM02, Fly."

Half an hour later, the duo were congratulating each other triumphantly as they swept the remainders of the HMs into a bag for the trash.

"No more HM chaos!" Lucas said gleefully.

"No more!" Johanna agreed. "Come on, stay for lunch. Dawn will be back tomorrow. I can't wait."

"Neither can I," chuckled Lucas.

The two enjoyed a lunch made without the destruction of a kitchen, without the disappearance of houses, without the abuse of Pokémon, without the shattering of the house's floors, without the creation of lava, without the threat of space-time distortion, without the malfunctions of hacks, and without Dawn.

They were happy.

* * *

Extra:

"Oh, you're back, Dawn!" said Johanna cheerfully as her daughter landed in the front yard and recalled her Hoothoot and Starly. "How was the Champion Conference?"

"Oh, it was great!" Dawn said cheerfully. "In fact, all the other Champions were kind enough to prepare a gift for me since I was a new Champion!"

Lucas overheard this segment from inside the house.

"What did they give you?" he asked curiously, ignoring the faint warning bells ringing in his head as daughter and mother walked past the door.

"Oh, nothing much. They just made a gift case of all the Hidden Machines currently in existence! I already have most of them, but there are these really cool ones called Whirlpool and Dive and Flash that I really want to try out!"

Lucas slid off the sofa and landed with a thump on the floor.

"Leave. Now. And never come back."

* * *

THE END...

NOT.

* * *

Author's Note: I've finished the eight Hidden Machines of the Sinnoh Region! I'm (not) finished with this story!

Psst: Expect more updates whenever I get random inspiration, so don't worry! This isn't the last chapter, but... all good things come to an end sometime...

Oh, and don't worry about the whole chapter mix-up thing. I just have an obsession with organized-ness so I need all the chapters in the correct order they actually are as HMs. It's a pet peeve...


	10. HM Override: Sea Level

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

HM Override: Sea Level

"Dawn's underwater exploration is underway! Wailord, Wailord, Wailord, Wailord, Wailord, and Wailord, use Dive!"

The six Float Whale Pokémon quickly submerged themselves under the surface of the waters of eastern Sinnoh, Dawn on the back of one of them. An air bubble formed around each of the Wailord, before it combined into a huge, oxygen-filled sphere of air that encompassed all the Pokémon.

"Wailord 1 and 2, to the left! Wailord 3 and 4, go forward! Wailord 5, wait until needed! Wailord 6, we'll go over there!"

She was riding Wailord 6.

The air bubble split apart as the Wailord went their separate ways. Dawn happily continued to explore the never-before seen world of ocean's depths without any idea as to what was going on above surface.

Lucas, meanwhile, was assailed by numerous calls from Sunyshore City. He ran around the lab frantically to address the problems of the people, realizing that most of them were reporting the same thing.

"I don't know why, but the sea levels have risen! They're swamping even over Munchlax Rock!"

"My house was drowned! I was too!"

"Volkner's Gym was destroyed again by the torrential water!"

"I just realized that I'm in neck-deep water..."

Lucas finally had enough and yanked the phones out of their electrical sockets, cutting off any more communication.

"The only way this could have happened would be because of a massive water displacement," said Professor Rowan, who Lucas had consulted. "Someone must have put something huge into the water."

Lucas left Professor Rowan to his work and ran back to the charts of water levels he had on his desk. After hours of calculations, he identified the amount of displaced water.

"About 2388 liters of water have been displaced," he said, panicking at the huge amount. He began to divide randomly and suddenly found that 2388 was perfectly divisible by 6 to yield a result of 398 kilograms, the weight of a Wailord. And if there were six Wailord, the total weight would be 2388 kilograms and the total water displaced would be 2388 liters of water.

"Who the heck is messing with the ocean?" he growled. He paused for a moment. "Well that was a stupid question."

* * *

Extra:

The phones were plugged back into the sockets, and calls streamed forward again.

"It's fine, the water's back to normal."

"I was brought back to life through reanimation, so I'm not drowned anymore! In fact, my house isn't either!"

"We can see Munchlax Rock again!"

"Volkner is redesigning his destroyed Gym – again! We'll go bankrupt at this rate!"

Lucas tore the phones out of the sockets and threw them across the room into the water-filled sink.


	11. HM Override: Swirly Whirly

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

HM Override: Swirly Whirly

"Go, Rhyperior! Use Whirlpool!" Dawn commanded.

The Pokémon roared and suddenly vanished into the water. A vortex soon began to develop as the Drill Pokémon began to spin and spin. After a few minutes, a whirlpool was spinning rapidly at maximum strength.

"Nice! Let's keep going, now!"

Lucas was surfing on the wide, open ocean, floating along on a Starmie and carefully cataloguing the Pokémon he saw. In fact, he was concentrating so intensely that he failed to notice the gaping hole in front of him and suddenly felt a huge jerk to the left as the swirling current caught him.

He noticed the whirlpool.

"What the – ?"

Sufficiently surprised, the professor's assistant failed to react at first. He began to issue a command, but then he was prevented from reacting by the fact that he was now submerged underwater, spinning in the midst of a vortex with numerous other Pokemon and people that were caught in the vile trap.

As only incoherent bubbles were capable of escaping Lucas's mouth, it is unknown what he said on that day as he was tossed and churned. However, perhaps it is better that way. Precious children need not be ruined by the words of the assistant, and this story's rating need not be raised.

* * *

Extra:

"What you have to realize," seethed Lucas, sopping wet and angrier than a sopping wet Lucas, "is that not everyone in Sinnoh can undo your stupid Whirlpool! Besides, isn't that HM supposed to _remove_ whirlpools, not make them?"

"Well, it makes whirlpools in battle, so why not in real life?" asked Dawn cheerfully. "Oh, and you should dry off before you catch a cold."

"You don't catch a cold from being wet – ATCHOO!"

"…"

"Oh, shut up," Lucas said thickly. "It's not my fault this just happened to happen."

"Yeah, right."


	12. HM Override: Wake-over Party

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

HM Override: Wake-over Party

"Wanna stay up and watch another movie?"

"No."

"Wanna stay up and play a board game?"

"No."

"Wanna stay up and –"

"Dawn, the only reason you're here in _my_ house right now is because you lost power in Twinleaf after you wrecked the time-space continuum with Dialga and Palkia. In fact, you lost your house, which is a slightly bigger problem than losing your power; not to mention the fact that your neighbors and their houses have also vanished into thin air. Get this through your head. _This is not a sleepover party._ Now be quiet and go to sleep."

"…"

Lucas sighed and turned to face the other way in his sleeping bag (being the gentleman he was, Dawn was given the bed). His eyes slowly closed and he drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

Dawn, meanwhile, was drooling on Lucas' pillows; evidently, she was _very_ content – until she woke up.

She gasped and hacked quietly as a sudden dryness of mouth took hold of her mouth. She released her Budew from her Poké Ball and rasped a command to it. The little bud happily complied and began to glow brightly with an inner light, using the move Flash to light Dawn's way to wherever she was about to go (once Lucas woke up, a cemetery). Dawn shuffled out of the room, her Budew following on its stubby legs.

Lucas was still asleep.

Dawn got to the kitchen alive and quickly poured herself a glass of water, sloshing it down her throat. Her Budew looked on forlornly until Dawn placed a saucer of water in front of it, upon which her Budew fiercely drank from, shattering the plate in the process and causing the shards to tinkle with the light from the move Flash.

They meandered back to Lucas' room, where Dawn promptly collapsed on the bed and fell asleep again. Budew silently blinked and continued to use Flash, seeing as it had not been recalled or commanded to stop. It sighed and stumbled along what seemed to be a rising and falling part of the carpet. Finally, it found its rest stop, right in front of Lucas' bed and right in front of Lucas' face too.

Needless to say, the bright light woke up the professor's assistant. He blinked blearily and then screamed as he was blinded by the plant sitting in front of him.

Budew jumped and scurried away, leaving Lucas to rub his eyes angrily.

Dawn slept through it all.

Or, at least, she was asleep until Lucas screamed something else.

"DAWN, YOU'RE DEAD!"

* * *

Extra:

"If you needed water, fine, but you didn't have to leave your Budew shining in my face," Lucas seethed after Dawn explained the issue.

"I'm sorry," Dawn said, rolling her eyes. "I've already said so a million times."

"Whatever," Lucas snapped, getting up. "I need some water. I'll be right back."

Dawn shrugged and curled up tightly on Lucas' bed. Lucas's piercing scream woke her up again as he, Dawn realized, walked straight onto the broken pieces of the saucer she had given Budew earlier.

"DAWN, YOU REALLY ARE DEAD THIS TIME!" Lucas screamed through the pain.

Dawn sighed.

"That's why you need Flash!" she called back.


	13. Epilogue-ish-ish

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

Epilogue-ish-ish

"I'll be leaving in a few minutes, Mom," Dawn said, calling out two of her Chatot. "The other Champions will be arriving in a while too, so I'd better get going."

"Alright, dear," replied Johanna, who was rustling in the kitchen. The faucet turned on to full power; the sound of rushing water filled the house.

"I'll see you in a few days, Lucas!" said Dawn cheerily as she exited her house. Lucas, visiting, followed her out.

"Sure," he shrugged.

Dawn, once again, was set out to meet with the other Champions on a day-long vacation. They would be congregating in Hoenn, a region famed for all of its sandy beaches. Dawn latched on to her two Chatot, each of which immediately began to scream, "OW! OW! OW!"

"That was the first thing they learned to say from me, apparently," Dawn said conversationally as the two Pokémon struggled to lift Dawn and her two-ton suitcase. "Now, that's all they say."

"Have you ever considered that they might _actually_ be in pain?" Lucas asked.

"Hmm…" Dawn pondered for a few minutes (a time period in which her Chatot began to wilt) before replying with a definitive, "No!"

"Of course not," Lucas muttered.

"Dear," Johanna said, poking her head out of the door and drying her hands on a towel, "make sure you don't harass the others too much, okay?"

"No problem! Let's go, Chatot!" Dawn said cheerfully.

Dawn zoomed off into the sky (well… zoom is a bit of an exaggeration) as Lucas and Johanna watched her progress.

"What were you doing in the kitchen?" asked Lucas.

"Washing the dishes, of course," replied Johanna, raising an eyebrow at the professor's assistant.

"Are you sure you don't mean the _discs_?"

"What discs?"

"Oh, I don't know… maybe discs that are called HMs that belong to Dawn."

"Why would I ever destroy Dawn's Hidden Machines?"

"…"

"Okay, why would I not?"

"Yes!" laughed Lucas. "I knew it!"

Johanna grinned. "It was the perfect opportunity. Unless she comes back with another set of HMs, we'll never be terrorized again!"

"Oh, she won't," said Lucas confidently. "The other Champions wouldn't give her a gift of something they already did. All we have to hope now is that she doesn't find out about... field moves in TMs."

Lucas barely finished his sentence before paling considerably.

"Oh… we didn't think about that, did we?" said a bemused Johanna.

"No, we didn't."

* * *

Extra:

"Hey, everyone!" called Dawn, alighting down on the ground and recalling her Giratina that had served as her flying Pokémon on the return trip. "Guess what the other Champions got me? They're so sweet!"

Lucas and Johanna ventured cautiously out of the house.

"Do you mean the gift the champions got you is sweet?" asked Lucas hopefully. "Or that the champions are sweet?"

"Well… both! But the gift is sweet in an awesome way!"

"I don't suppose they could have gotten you a basket of Berries?" asked Johanna, grasping at the last, glimmering ray of hope.

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Well… they got me a basket, but what's inside isn't Berries! You'll never guess what they got me!"

"Did they get you TMs?" asked Lucas resignedly.

Dawn looked thunderstruck.

"How did you guess? And you know what? They told me that these TMs can be taught to Pokémon and then used outside of battle! How cool is that?" squealed Dawn.

Lucas and Johanna shared a look before abruptly re-entering the house. Once the door was firmly shut tight and bolted, they screamed.

* * *

THE SECOND END...

NOT.

* * *

Yeah, Dawn's discovered TMs! Let the agony continue!

Next time, on Hidden Machines... we star TECHNICAL MACHINES! OOH!


	14. TM Override: Only Sweet Once

Hidden Machines

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for not updating, but hopefully I'll be able to make it up to all you readers in these next few chapters!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon.

TM Override: Only Sweet Once

"I hate finding Burmy," sighed Lucas, once again slathering a tree with honey for what seemed to be the fiftieth time that day. "They're so annoying. And half the time, a Wurmple just comes and eats all the honey. I've gone broke over honey, of all things."

He sighed again and left the tree to its own devices, prepared to check on it in a few hours...

Meanwhile, Dawn happily pranced along the route. And when Dawn is happily prancing, you should be nervously trying to get as far away from her location as possible.

"Shaymin, come on out! Let's see you use your epic Sweet Scent attack!" called Dawn, skipping into the air and spiraling around before finally throwing the Poké Ball. A small, green, hedgehog-like Pokémon popped out, shyly sniffing the grass. As it inhaled, a stream of pink dust flew out of the flowers on its head, creating a localized sandstorm of sweet-smelling powder.

Dawn, of course, simply left her mess behind her and left to spread terror and despair—err, happiness and joy—to the rest of the region.

A few hours later, Lucas came back to check on the tree. He smelled the fragrance of flowers and a lovely, sweet scent that did not seem to be in the area beforehand. He smiled. Maybe he would finally catch a Burmy from the tree.

Strangely enough, he smelled the scents of nature, but apparently could not hear the ominous buzzing issuing from the tree.

And so, nearing the tree, he gaped as, not just one, but four Burmy were furiously eating away at the honey he had left there earlier.

"Amazing," he whispered, careful not to disturb the Burmy. "This is definitely my lucky day."

He pulled out a few Poké Balls and threw them at the Burmy (still not disturbing them; or so he says...). They jumped and shrieked (with their tiny, pointy mouths) as they were sucked into the spheres.

Unfortunately, the shrieks seemed to have woken the rest of the Pokémon that had flown to the tree after being attracted by a certain Sweet Scent.

Lucas picked up the Poké Balls triumphantly. He then straightened up and came face to face with many, many, _many_ stingers.

Needless to say, he screamed and ran.

* * *

Extra:

"So I got stung by a lot of things," Lucas explained through stinging cheeks, wincing with every movement. Dawn sat vapidly in front of him, nodding serenely while tuning out everything he said.

"It was on Route 209," Lucas added.

"Route 209? I was just there yesterday," Dawn said wistfully. "It was nice. And then I had my Shaymin use Sweet Scent."

Lucas made no comment as the words clicked in his head.

"Think it had anything to do with whatever you've been talking about?" asked Dawn mildly.

Lucas' eyebrow twitched. "Why, of _course_ not, Dawn, it couldn't have anything to do with you!"

"Good! I'll be leaving now, because, no offense, but you're boring," Dawn cheerfully said. "See ya!"

"GET BACK HERE!" roared Lucas, who immediately regretted it as his face suddenly burned. "All because of you, I have stings and welts on my arms, legs, face, back, and places that I don't even want to think about! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Can I think about those places?"

"NO!"


	15. TM Override: The Tree and Not Me

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

TM Override: The Tree and Not Me

"Hey Lucas!"

"Yeah?"

"INTERRUPTING SALAMENCE! USE HEADBUTT!"

"WHAT—AHHHHH!"

Dawn flung a Poké Ball at Lucas and a Salamence erupted out of it, charging straight into Lucas' stomach and hurling him straight up into the atmosphere. Dawn diligently took notes.

"Troposphere... oh, he's in the stratosphere now... are we breaching—yep, mesosphere attained! Oh, what's this? No way! Can we make it—YES WE CAN! EXOSPHERE ACHIEVED!"

Salamence roared deafeningly in Professor Rowan's lab; the professor calmly walked out of his office, petted Salamence, and went back to his work.

"Oh, Dawn," he added before he submerged himself in papers again, "make sure you bring Lucas back. He's a valuable assistant and I don't want him stuck in the exosphere where he can't do anything."

"No problem!" Dawn said cheerfully, saluting the old man. "Now, I just need... Rayquaza? NO, IT LIVES IN HOENN! NOW I HAVE TO GO FIND BRENDAN OR MAY OR SOMEONE! NOOOOO!"

* * *

Extra:

Lucas trembled and shivered violently as he began to thaw from being up in space for so long. Dawn failed to locate Brendan and gave up trying to find May. However, on the bright side, she did manage to get Tate and Liza to fetch Lucas with their Solrock and Lunatone. How kind of them.

"You're supposed to use Headbutt on trees!" hissed Lucas once his mouth could move again. "Not humans!"

"Salamence burned down all the trees two minutes before I saw you," Dawn said bluntly. "So I just had Salamence use Headbutt on you instead."

Lucas twitched erratically.

"L—leave me to do my work..." he mumbled, too upset to even look at Dawn. She frowned.

"I'm sorry, Lucas. Please forgive me," she said, placing a consoling hand on Lucas' shoulder. He turned around and smiled weakly.

"I don't know why I forgive you every time, but alright," he said weakly, nodding in a resigned fashion (that he _totally_ rocked. Resigned looks _so _good on him, according to Dawn at least).

"Thank you. Oh, and Lucas?"

"Hmm?"

"INTERRUPTING DAWN USES HEADBUTT!"

"WHAT—OWWWWW!"


	16. TM Override: Outside the Center

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon...

TM Override: Outside the Center

As Lucas neared the Pokémon Center in Hearthome City, he chatted with his Turtwig, which he was holding in his arms.

"Turtwig, you did great! Beating the Fantina like that was incredible!" he cheered, gently stroking his Turtwig's head. It crooned in response and happily nibbled on Lucas' fingers; Lucas winced and pulled away a hand with only stubs left.

"So, let's stop by the Pokémon Center and get you healed, alright?" Lucas said, smiling down at his Pokémon. Turtwig babbled happily in response, nodding its tired, green head.

And so, Lucas was directly outside the Pokémon Center, holding his Turtwig in his arms, when the strangest sensation he had ever felt in his life ran through his body. He shivered uncontrollably as spasms racked his muscles, sending his brain into overdrive mode and screaming possible causes. Twitching erratically now, he tried to identify the source of the problem and saw a rather large Claydol floating next to him; it most definitely had not been there a moment ago.

"Hmm... this doesn't feel right..."

Lucas paled as Dawn's voice floated out of nowhere.

"Dawn?" he stammered, now unwillingly and involuntarily twisting his neck into absurd positions. "Where are you?"

"I'm here!"

The sound seemed to emanate from his neck. He kept one eye on the malevolent Claydol next to him and addressed his neck confusedly.

"What?"

"Oh, let me move; let's see, if I just do _this_—"

Lucas felt as though he had been pushed through a plunger and then suctioned out with a vacuum. Dawn stepped neatly out of him and smiled at him.

"How are you, Lucas?"

"Better than I was a second ago," Lucas panted, finally regaining control over his body. "What just happened?"

"Well, I tried to use Teleport," she said. "But something happened. I think you were in the way, so when Claydol used Teleport to put me outside the Pokémon Center, it malfunctioned because you were already standing in the same place. Claydol, return."

Lucas blinked as the large Pokémon was called back into its Poké Ball. "Uh... okay. That was... random. And disturbing."

"Very!"

After they got their Pokémon healed, they chatted amiably together for a while.

"Oh, and by the way, from this experience, I have a theory I would like to propose to you, Lucas," Dawn said.

"Yeah?" asked Lucas, intrigued.

"Well, if the matter displacement value is equal to the chi-theta squared percentage, then the model for the approximate percentage mass conjoined can be modeled by the equation of the quantity of chi times epsilon times lambda divided by psi times phi squared, right? And then, through this, my hypothesis is that the difference in mass between the two objects in the study can affect the lambda value through differential modeling of the summation of the relative roots of the chi-phi variables, correct?"

"Uh... yeah," said Lucas, unnerved by the sudden display of intelligence. "You... are feeling okay, right?"

"Yeah, fine, thanks for asking!" said Dawn, beaming brightly. "How are you?"

"Possibly hallucinating. But it's alright. Now, Dawn, you... haven't eaten any strange foods or pills lately, have you?" said Lucas concernedly.

"Um... why would I do that?" said Dawn, extremely confused.

"Uh... no reason..."

* * *

Extra:

Lucas stood outside the Hearthome City Pokémon Center with his Torterra, feeling a strange sense of recognition, dread, and discomfort run along his spine.

"Torterra... why do I get the feeling that I should move?" asked Lucas. Torterra grunted in response.

And then Lucas remembered the incident—but it was too late.

A familiar sense of disproportionate mass being shoved into the same space he was occupying resulted in his involuntary twitching again. Dawn's voice echoed out from the air.

"Oh, really, _again?_ Why are you always in my way, Lucas?"

"I think you've got it backwards," hissed Lucas as he began jumping in place like a rabbit.

Torterra looked on contentedly and simply yawned to greet the Gardevoir that had suddenly appeared by its side. The Gardevoir nodded politely in return.

And the two Pokémon turned to watch their masters struggle to separate themselves from their state of conjoined matter, a perpetual question of confusion to scientists.

Translated from scientist talk to English, it was hilarious to watch.


	17. TM Override: Digging into the Past

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

TM Override: Digging into the Past

"Hey Dawn!" Lucas greeted happily, seeing his newest friend sitting in the grass fumbling with a few Poké Balls. "What are you doing?"

"Mom told me about these gems she had found one year sitting in a pit in the ground," Dawn replied. "I wonder if they're more underground?"

"What gems?" asked Lucas curiously.

"Well, my mom found blue, red, and green gems... Hmm, I think I'll go look for them!"

"How? You'd need to be underground, and the only thing underground is solid dirt," said Lucas, his eyebrows expressively knitting together into a jumbled knot. He yelped when he tried to relax his facial muscles; his eyebrows had decided to form a scarf and were currently wrapping themselves together, pulling Lucas' face tighter and tighter—until he finally severed the connections between his eyebrows with a butcher knife.

By the time he had finished grappling with his eyebrows, Dawn had disappeared.

Or had she?

"Dawn?" called Lucas into a large hole directly in front of him. It had rudely decided to occupy the space where Dawn had been sitting a moment ago, Lucas decided. "Are you down there?"

Unfortunately, Dawn could not hear him, as she and her team of Hippowdon (and only after the first Gym; what a cheater!) tunneled underneath the earth, weaving intricate tunnels that just happened to run perfectly vertically and horizontally and crossed each other and lengthened all over Sinnoh.

"Wow, I never knew that Dig was such a fun move!" Dawn screamed as she clung for her life to her Hippowdon that was currently burrowing towards Snowpoint City. "So cool!"

A week later, when Dawn resurfaced (in Lucas' backyard), she told Lucas about her adventures. He was amazed.

"Wow! Great job! You've just weakened the earth's structure around all of Sinnoh, which will possibly result in sinkholes and destruction! Congratulations!" he had exclaimed. Scientists can be sarcastic too, you know, even if it sometimes is too complicated for people—cough, Dawn, cough—to understand.

Too bad for them.

* * *

Extra:

"And that, kids, was how the Sinnoh Underground was created," Lucas said, talking to the excited schoolchildren of Jubilife City's Trainers' School.

"Wow!" they all said together in a tumultuous blast of sound. "What other stories do you have about Miss Dawn?"

Lucas almost gave them a killer look before he remembered that they were innocent and had never done anything to him.

And then Dawn waltzed in.

"Hey, Lucas!" she said in a singsong voice, waving her fingers at him. "Sinnoh hasn't sunk yet! And everybody loves me for opening up the Underground! Ha, you were wrong for once! Admit it!"

"No."

"Admit it!"

"No."

"ADMIT IT, NOW!"

"NO!"

And so, the luckless trainers-to-be were forgotten as their teacher, Lucas, took a temporary—eternal—break to argue over the decision of digging tunnels all throughout Sinnoh with his best friend—nemesis—Dawn.

But Dawn decided that eternity was too long, and so stomped away in a huff.

"Look at all the trainers logging away, like, five hundred hours on their games in the Underground! THEY AREN'T COMPLAINING!"

...

Yeah, Dawn wins this time.


	18. TM Override: Secret Bases

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

TM Override: Secret Bases

"Hello, this is Professor Rowan's lab, how may I help you? You're a trainer on Route 209? What's going on? A girl is trying to have her Giratina use Secret Power on a honey tree? I see. Yes, I'll be on my way."

Lucas hung up calmly, shook off his lab coat, and wrenched the phone out of its socket, throwing it onto the ground and stomping it clean in half with his foot. He left the lab rather angrily and called out his Staraptor to fly to Route 209.

Sure enough, once he got there, a crowd of people were nervously watching as a certain girl had her Giratina use Secret Power on a lovely tree with leaves colored a pleasant shade of gold.

"DAWN!" yelled Lucas. The onlookers all jumped and guiltily shuffled away, leaving the professor's assistant to deal with the blue-haired girl. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

A vine abruptly dropped down from the tree.

"Making a secret base!" Dawn replied cheerfully. "Thanks a lot, Giratina! Return!"

The huge Legendary Pokémon roared as it was called back into its Poké Ball, leaving Lucas stunned.

"What? You need a Digger Drill to make Secret Bases... and they're supposed to be in The Underground! What are you doing to that poor tree? Are you the cause of the recent plague of deforestation? ARE YOU?"

"Sheesh, calm down!" Dawn said, raising two hands in a placating gesture of peace. "This is how they do it Hoenn! They just have a Pokémon use Secret Power on a tree, a bush, or a rock wall, and poof, there you go! I'll be decorating my Secret Base now."

She hoisted herself up on the vine that had fallen earlier and energetically began to climb up the tree.

"Hey, get back down here!" Lucas yelped, but it was too late; Dawn had disappeared into the branches of the tree. Angrily, Lucas grabbed onto the vine and climbed up as well, suddenly finding himself in a rather comfortable, leafy, spacious cavern.

"Where the heck did this come from?" Lucas said. "The tree isn't even this big!"

"Who cares? Wow, this is so much cooler than our Secret Bases!" Dawn said excitedly, leaping up and down like a rabbit—excuse me, a Buneary. "Time for decorations!"

And thus, Dawn dived to the computer that just somehow magically appears in any Secret Base that has been created and started pulling out random articles of furniture, pillows, plants, dolls, and so on.

"Stop this!" Lucas demanded. "Sinnoh's trees are more fragile than Hoenn's, that's why we have to make our Secret Bases underground, otherwise we'll kill the trees!"

"Trees, shmees," Dawn said idly, fluttering a hand at Lucas. "Come back in a few hours and I'll let you see my epic Secret Base!"

Lucas stormed back down the vine and huffed, intending to spend his time in Hearthome City while he waited curiously—err... angrily—to see Dawn's new Secret Base.

* * *

Extra:

"Wow... This... is surprisingly comfortable."

As much as Lucas hated to admit it, the tree made a very pleasant Secret Base, with its fragrant scent of honey and the wind rustling through the branches. The sofas and the pillows were soft and alluring, the dolls scattered here and there providing adorable amusement. Other plants also decorated the area, flowers blooming brightly and other miniature trees growing into intriguing shapes.

"Trees inside a tree, huh?" said Lucas. Dawn smiled and then descended the vine.

"Hm? Where are you going, Dawn?" asked Lucas. She simply stepped back and stared up at the tree. Lucas shrugged; she was probably admiring her new Secret Base.

Well, that was what he thought until the tree made an ominous creaking noise. Lucas stood up—and then abruptly screamed as the trunk collapsed on itself, bringing the entire tree down in a tumultuous tumble of branches and leaves and sofas and more trees and Pokémon dolls and an irate Professor's assistant.

As Lucas unearthed himself from the mess, amazed that he had not been injured in any way, he glared at a laughing Dawn.

"Oh, you _so_ fell for my trap!" Dawn laughed, guffawing on the ground.

"You mean you did this on _purpose_?" seethed Lucas. Dawn nodded, tears leaking out of her eyes. "Since when did you get so smart?"

"...Hey!"


	19. TM Override: Cooking Lessons

Hidden Machines

Author's Note: This is the last TM field move in the entire series of Pokémon so far... which means the story is almost over...

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.

TM Override: Cooking Lessons

"And so, today's lesson will be how to make a soft-boiled eggs!" announced Dawn, proudly holding up a carton of eggs (from what?) to the excited audience—cough, no one's there, cough—and plucking a single, white egg from the set.

"Step one! Get a Chansey!"

Dawn pulled out a Poké Ball and called out her own Chansey; it trilled happily before settling down again.

"Step two! Go back to Generation One and find TM41, Softboiled!"

Dawn plucked a disc out of her bag.

"Step four! Teach Chansey how to use Softboiled with this obsolete TM!"

Dawn held the disc next to Chansey's head for a few moments (even though there isn't really a distinction between a Chansey's head and the rest of its body...) and Chansey nodded, signaling that it had learned the move. The TM beeped, indicating that it was no longer usable.

"Step five! Remove Chansey's egg and place your egg in Chansey's pouch!"

Dawn removed Chansey's egg—Chansey began to wail uncontrollably—and replaced it with the egg that she had been holding in her hand.

"Step six! Force Chansey to use Softboiled!"

Dawn kindly asked Chansey to use Softboiled—she threatened to never give back Chansey's actual egg if it did not use the move—and Chansey, obviously, decided to use the move. A moment later, Dawn replaced Chansey's egg and triumphantly held up hers.

"And we're finished! A perfect, soft-boiled egg!"

And without further ado, Dawn tore the shell apart and shoved the whole egg into her mouth.

Hey, who said she had to behave ladylike in private? Although... it's not like she behaves ladylike in public anyways...

* * *

Extra:

"Wait... you went back to Generation One to grab this TM?" Lucas asked, clearly bewildered.

"Yeah, I hitched a ride with Ethan and his Celebi when they went back to visit Red in Generation One," said Dawn, casually snapping the useless TM between her fingers.

"Why didn't you stay?"

"...Well, that's just rude, isn't it?"


	20. The Final Epilogue

Hidden Machines

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon...

The Final Epilogue

A loud, obnoxious piano blasted throughout a house in Undella Town. Lucas knocked politely and then barged in, slamming the door shut behind him.

A blonde woman looked up in surprise from the grand piano.

"Oh, Lucas," Cynthia said, smiling. "What brings you here?"

Lucas was still choking from his full-out sprint. "Just... got here... from... Sinnoh... ran... all the way..."

"What? You must be exhausted! Here, I'll get you some water, sit down," Cynthia said, getting up concernedly. Lucas thanked her and collapsed in a chair.

"What were you running from?" Cynthia asked, once Lucas had gulped down the drink and regained his breath.

"Dawn."

"Dawn? What's going on?"

Lucas blinked at her. "Have you even _been_ to Sinnoh lately?"

"Well, no, I've been enjoying my vacation in Unova."

"Well... this is what's happening..."

By the end of Lucas' story, Cynthia had prepared a large feast for lunch, taken two naps, and blasted on her piano in a violent discord of harmony.

"And so, right _now_, she's trying to force access to the Distortion World, so she's got Giratina doing all sorts of random stuff all over Sinnoh, so everyone's supposed to evacuate, and I figured that this would be the safest place to come," Lucas finished.

Cynthia turned to look at him. "Hmm... maybe it was a good thing that I let Sinnoh..."

"..."

A look of thoughtfulness crossed Cynthia's face. "Tell you what, I've got a collection of all the HMs and TMs you could ever want or need. You take them and get back to Sinnoh so you can counter Dawn, okay?"

"Really?" asked Lucas, amazed. Cynthia nodded, smiling serenely. "But, you won't have anything to teach your Pokémon moves with."

"Don't worry, I have about five full sets. Giving one away isn't going to hurt me," Cynthia said wryly.

And so, that was how Lucas got his hands on a full set of HMs and TMs, and he sat at the table with Cynthia planning extravagant revenge plans that involved ideas like cutting a tree down to block Dawn's path. Absolutely brilliant, ineffective, and pitiful in comparison to Dawn's techniques of torture.

Well, Lucas wasn't a genius when it came to revenge.

* * *

Extra:

Lucas bade Cynthia farewell and opened the door, turning to greet the lovely warmth of a fresh, crisp, summer day. Instead, a bleak, dark, distorted, and somewhat familiar space greeted him.

"Oh dear," Cynthia said, coming over to peer out into the new dimension. "What is this?"

"The Distortion World."

"How?"

A giddy laugh alerted them to the presence of Dawn, who zoomed over the house on her Giratina.

"Hey Lucas! I figured out how to open portals to the Distortion World!" Dawn called, waving a hand in greeting to Cynthia at the same time. "Problem is, I don't know how to get back! Well, _I_ can get back with Giratina, but you'll just be stuck here until you find an exit! Sorry!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh, and your house is going to disintegrate in five seconds."

"Why?" Cynthia asked.

"Because Giratina is going to use Ominous Wind on it! Giratina, go!" Dawn said cheerfully. Her Pokémon roared and sent a purple blast of air down at the flimsy wooden house. With a crash, it impacted a solid, pink barrier.

"Huh?"

Cynthia smiled. "Hello, Caitlin!"

The snoring Unova Elite Four member smiled sleepily in response and used her psychic powers to bring everyone back to the normal dimension.

Dawn paled. "What _are_ you? I thought I beat you in Sinnoh!"

"You beat my valet, Darach," Caitlin replied, waving an uncaring hand up at the girl. "Now go away, I need a nap."

"NEVER!"

And then, because no one is supposed to make Caitlin mad, the world turned inside out and every last Hidden Machine and Technical Machine in the entire world was suddenly vaporized.

Dawn broke down.

"MY REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER! NOOOOO!"

* * *

THE FINAL AND TRUE END

* * *

Author's Note: It's finally over... And for those people who were wondering why I decided not to use all the TMs, it's because I only chose the field moves, so the other TMs didn't apply.

Well, thanks to EVERYONE for reading this hopefully humorous story of mine, and I hope I will be able to continuously entertain you all with any new stories that I may happen to come up with.

But for now, my escapade is over. Dawn has been overthrown, the world is saved. Ah, I fell so satisfied that I can change this story's status from "In-Progress" to "Complete."

Wonderful!


End file.
